Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
