if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have aggressive nipples.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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