she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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