remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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