just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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