whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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