So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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