He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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