What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
