there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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