he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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