i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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