we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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