he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
