I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
