Little spoons don't ask big questions
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
