google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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