that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
