Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Drunk is not a location!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
