sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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