I accidentally burped into my bong.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
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