Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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