She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
