my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize