well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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