So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
