So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
