Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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