the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
