So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
