Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
is it fun? or sober?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
