my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
