Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
