If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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