That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize