I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
