i permit you to call me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
