My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
