you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
