Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
