Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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