good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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