In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
