he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
As shirtless as possible
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
