Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize