Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
