we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
