I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
