Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
