He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
