We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
