Little spoons don't ask big questions
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
