Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
